Ask the Right Questions

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Do Your Social Media Research

By doing a little social media research you can find out who this person really is before they move in. Instagram or Facebook events may tell a different story. If you have friends in common, try to ask leading questions about the person. Having someone describe a typical night out with them might get you more valuable information than grilling them point-blank about their lifestyle.

You can also try asking why they're looking for a new place to live. Learning why someone splits up with former roommates can reveal a lot about what they may have issues with.

The wherewithal to pay bills isn’t the only qualification that makes someone a good roommate. Their lifestyle is also a key factor. Ask questions about:

• Working Hours:  Are his or her hours like yours? If your roommate works days while you work nights, is he or she willing to be quiet while you sleep?

• Lifestyle: Does your prospective roommate smoke or drink? How often does your roommate expect to entertain friends at home? Does your roommate have a significant other?

• Pets: Will one of you be bringing a pet to the apartment? 

• Expectations: Do you want to become friends with your roommates, or are you just looking for someone to share expenses with? (Although either approach is fine, it helps to understand what the other roommates expect before you sign a lease.)

 

Set Ground Rules

Rules can prevent misunderstandings that threaten your relationship with your roommates. You may want to decide on quiet hours and make cleaning schedules for different rooms.

Food issues are a common cause of trouble between roommates. Assign specific shelves in the refrigerator and cabinets make it easier to tell whose food is whose. You may also want to decide if certain types of food will be purchased and shared, like spices, coffee creamer, sugar, and other staples.

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Establish How You’ll Pay the Rent and Bills

Decide who will make the rent payment and how you’ll reimburse that person. Do you want one person to handle paying all of the bills or split the responsibility between all of the roommates? Establishing a monthly deadline for payments can help prevent misunderstandings, chaos, and disorder.

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Talk about Guests and Entertaining

Make sure you all agree on how often guests can stay overnight and discuss any limitations you’d like to place on guests. Some accommodation may be necessary if your roommates would prefer having friends over nearly every night, while you’d prefer to limit a few nights to roommates only.

 

Respect Your Roommate's Space and Belongings

You may want to clarify when you are and aren’t available for socializing. If the door to your room is closed, under what condition do you want to be interrupted? Are your roommates allowed to borrow your food, towels, pots, pans, or clothing without asking?

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Discuss How You Will Settle Conflicts

Weekly and Bi-weekly meetings can help you address potential problems and come up with solutions and compromises. You should not wait an entire week if there’s a major issue. A quick, friendly reminder may be all it takes to get your roommate to wash the dishes that have been sitting in the sink for two days. Minor irritations are more likely to become major problems if you don’t have a system in place for handling issues.

 

Future

Things can change a lot over a year. You may decide to get married, accept a new job out of state or move in with family members. Obviously, it’s important to consider these issues when someone asks you to share an apartment. If you’re actively looking for a job in another location or thinking about moving in with a significant other soon, it may be best to turn down the offer.

It’s also important to ask your potential roommate these questions. If he or she moves out suddenly, you may need to cover the rent and utilities yourself or scramble to find another roommate, if permitted by your lease.

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Finances

Sharing an apartment with a roommate can save or cost you money, depending on the agreement you make with your roommate. Find out if your landlord offers separate leases or if both of your names will be on the same lease. If you will be both be named in the lease, decide who will make the payment to the landlord, when the rent payments are due and how the rent will be split.

If both bedrooms are equal size, a 50/50 split makes sense. When one roommate has a large bedroom with an ensuite bathroom, while the other roommate has a much smaller room without an attached bath, some adjustments in that percentage may be necessary.

It’s also important to discuss the payment of security deposits and utilities (if they’re not included in your rent). As part of your roommate agreement, you may want to stipulate that any damage caused by a roommate or his or her guests will be covered by that roommate only.